A video describing all the problems with the fifteenth Nancy Drew game.
The little Arglefumph logo animation, at the start of this video, was made by Serge Hanna.
Here's a full playlist of all my Everything Wrong With Nancy Drew videos:
This video contains footage from the Nancy Drew series, made by Her Interactive (www.herinteractive.com). All rights are owned by Her Interactive.
Lalala I don't have theme music lalala.
The opening scene is a humongous fake out even though there's no one around to.
Hear him dr. Craven purposely avoid saying anything during this scene in order to find the fact that he's the culprit dr. Craven is by the tree now he's at the tent opening oh now he's by the tree again it is impossible for dr. Craven to throw the tape recorder at that angle from inside the tent Big Island Mike this question needs a question mark the first sentence of the game has a grammatical issue this is a bad sign speaking of grammar sometimes the game has an apostrophe in Hawaii and sometimes it doesn't also the captions are overly fond of putting ellipsis where they don't belong formula is capitalized when it shouldn't be there's a period after the question mark this sentence needs quotation marks and in needs two apostrophes not one okay grammar rant over back to the game.
Nancy openly admits she doesn't know anything about bugs or even what fieldwork means maybe she should have researched the job before accepting it you'll live like a real Hawaiian work like they weren't play like they play Big Island Mike certainly puts people to work but at no point does he let them play when Big Island Mike tilts his head back his pupils disappear and that gives me nightmares the key right here but know what I'm not gonna give it to you Big Island Mike is a jerk I get so relaxed you go being forced to do other people's chores is not relaxing get the bug doctors signed me up Nancy's not going to abandon her job just for your random garbage I can't leave yet I still need to get that car from Big Island Mike technically you need to get the key not the car although if Nancy stole the car that would be way more interesting by coincidence Nancy and the Hardys are at the exact same spot at the exact same time the hardy stand in place without moving for 40 seconds I'll call you later okay but by Nancy hangs up on her boyfriend to talk to hot guys Wow the Hardy Boys looks so much better two games ago what happened John me do you have any ideas botched plastic surgery big Joe's comb-over Nancy what. Are you doing here Joe's voice comes out of Frank's mouth Frank is on the left here and now he's on the right as soon as the opportunity presents itself we'll be doing some hardcore snooping - Frank's entire investigation consists of picking a receipt off the floor that is not hardcore sleuthing we're on assignment Joe keep it down Frank says this even though there's clearly no one around who can overhear them I've been coming world-class surfer Joe's impression of a surfer up-and-coming world-class surfer which so far has made rummaging through his paperwork impossible for a rough skinned man monster repellent Oh Joe feels the need to act out everything he says he runs a local business called Big Island Mike's immersion excursions the Hardys act like this conversation isn't taking place on Big Island Mike's private beach I'm supposed to pick up a car at Big Island Mike's his he acts like she hasn't already met Big Island Mike although I'm willing to bet this Canio college I could Joe's main suspect is a guy who died a thousand years ago isn't Joe supposed to be a good detective the Hardys give Nancy two and a half minutes of exposition was anytime okay two teenage boys share one cell phone Nancy's standing here when she talks to the Hardys then they leave and all of a sudden she's standing here just keep walking down the beach I need to collect shells so I can get those keys from Big Island like Nancy refuses to get any shells on the rest of the beach for basically no reason get those keys from Big Island Mike you need one key Nancy Nancy is standing on the beach here but if she turns around suddenly she's in the ocean she all hunting is fine the first time around but after that the shells appear randomly and it takes forever to get enough shells to make n thing the newspaper says the police showed up at Healy Healy when the alarm is triggered but when Nancy triggers the alarm later on in the game the police don't show up at all I keep the necklace I made sorry my idea my necklace Big Island Mike is a jerk Big Island Mike is Nancy the key only to immediately take it back Big Island Mike is a jerk here's what it looks like if Nancy has multiple necklaces and here's what it looks like when she shows it to Big Island Mike what happened to her other necklace I made a couple of necklaces may I keep one of them sorry my idea my necklace Big O & Mike does this garbage even if you make multiple necklaces the GPS does not show a river or a bridge why did the bridge suddenly collapse why is there only one road that leads across the island nobody at Healy cares that they're trapped on this side of the island why did Big Island Mike pre-program the coordinates for Healy Healy into Nancy's GPS he hates Healy Healy and there's no reason to believe Nancy would go there three minutes of Quigley's knows Nancy takes the tape recorder from the ground but it looks like it's in front of a piece of fabric I don't care much for hearing myself on tape makes me sound very nasal for some strange reason I have a hard time believing Quigley doesn't know she has a nasal voice I'm on the verge of fame fortune and free labor Quigley openly brags about getting Nancy to work for free the tape inside the tape recorder doesn't move at all dr. Kim are you here hello anybody here dr..
Kim Nancy has to ask five times before realizing nobody else is inside the tiny tent so uh where does Quigley sleep or eat the formula machine is plugged in and has power why can't Nancy plug the radio into that outlet and skip the entire solar cell puzzle where's the formula machine plugged into anyway Nancy turns pages in this notebook but she's always on the first page dr. Craven high school yearbook went out of its way to insult him no wonder he's so angry.
This 10 second animation plays every single time you use the GPS I would be a lot more frightened of dr. Cravens temper if he didn't stop and stare blankly at Nancy in between every sentence dr. Craven Nancy writes about dr. Cravens allergies in her notebook even if he doesn't tell her about them a solar panel looked like this is what powers the radio is attached to how does it Nancy know the radio is attached to the solar panel I certainly can't tell that just by looking at it since you're here you can do it Nancy does everyone else's chores cliche if you make a single mistake on this puzzle Nancy throws out all the seeds and tries again it would make more sense if she only threw out the bad seeds instruct Olsen to put it there is no one named Olson on Cravens employee list a three photovoltaic cells and dr. Craven knows exactly what type of solar cells Nancy needs without being told instruct Olson to put a box of a3 photovoltaic this puzzle needs instructions the radio has eight other channels none of which get used you spend 10 minutes fixing the radio only to use it once the radio reception is awful but Nancy's cell phone has perfect reception Quigley is so oblivious she doesn't realize the radio connection is bad Quigley ignores you every other time you use the radio Quigley is a jerk where does Quigley keep her radio anyway I don't see it on her or in her backpack Nancy's phone changes to a flip phone if you switch interfaces great all I heard was green trigger rock or something how am I supposed to figure out where that is Nancy doesn't know about three-finger rock even though she put a picture of it in her case file are you familiar with a place in the around here called green trigger rock or something like that never heard of it and I know this island better than anybody so if I haven't heard of it trust me there's no such place Big Island Mike lies to Joe for no apparent reason think you could explain this try it and trade it system of yours again Joe forgets things he already knows so Big Island Mike can give the players a tutorial this is the first time Big Island Mike lets the Hardys go fishing that means Big Island Mike was lying earlier when he said those boys surfing shellin fishing Big Island Mike indicates you should make necklaces to get fish bait but if you do that before asking Big Island Mike about Aloha the game glitches Big Island bucks you get the more stuff you can do in here you can do exactly two things in here Big Island Mike never-ending circle of fun more like a never-ending circle of pain Frank and Joe are paying money to do Big Island Mike's chores this is the worst vacation ever you can put the shells you find in here you can put the shells you find in here Big Island Mike says the exact same thing to Joe and Nancy the hardy boys find a cute girl cliche come on mr. Mamun nobody's perfect she must have some bad habits oh come on you'd like to ride motorcycles go to wild parties pig out on shave ice and adrenaline freak like you never does anything wild and crazy Joe is pretty bad at hiding the fact that he's trying to dig up dirt on puah where is Frank during this part of the game who is blonde here and not blonde here come Dano Paul quotes a detective show at the Hardee's even though she doesn't know they're detectives poor claims that she surfs all the time but we never see her surf at any points phishing reused from game 12 Frank can get credit for the fish Joe caught but he can't get credit for the necklaces Nancy made five of these necklaces require you to buy shells before you can make them Joe's ego hey Nance good news I figured out that dr. Kim isn't it green trigger rock she's at three-finger rock the coordinates are north 19 degrees 24 hours 42 minutes by west 155 degrees 9 hours 1 minute gosh I'm good hey Nance good news I figured out the duck we hear this entire message twice in a row Johnny Kudo a tax Joe while standing off screen in order to save on animation the three fingers look more like toes it takes about 30 seconds to go down the long pathway to Quigley yeah the scenery is pretty but considering how often you have to make this trip it feels like they only included this to pad out the game's runtime unless you make necklaces you're forced to go fishing twice this also feels like an excuse to pad out the game's runtime cute I forgot to tell you that somebody trashed her camp Nancy forgets important plot information I asked you to get my clipboard how could you screw up something as simple as that says the person who can't have a 10-second conversation without going off-topic you have to go all the way to Quigley's camp and back again just to get a clipboard quickly makes a big deal out of Nancy getting her clipboard but it turns out she doesn't need it all she wants is the formula machine number to collect and analyze all the data again or should I say you'll have to the frass puzzle about 60% of the gameplay is spent on this one puzzle it's long and boring Nancy used to be a sassy detective now she's a Frazee detective nancy spends the entire game analyzing caterpillar waste while the hardy saw the mystery why do they get the good plot line in this game there is not enough mystery in this game for one detective let alone three jump him while he was poking around Big Island Mike's immersion center just after he left that message for you in fact sounds like Frank is accusing Nancy of distracting Joe Joe was knocked unconscious and he's immediately taken to the hospital Nancy's been knocked unconscious multiple times and she's never been to a hospital once Johnny is wanted by the police but he still gives out his real phone number to strangers Johnny you don't know me but you know my brother he's the one you slugged when you were at Big Island Mike's I know what you two have been up to so if you're smart you'll give me a call to 805 five five seven two six three if you're smart you don't give your phone number to wanted criminals who put your relatives in the hospital the Johnny Kudo storyline is entirely optional puah tells Frank all about the chambers where she's hiding the stolen canisters and she even helps Frank get inside culprit foils their own plot Frank is.
Only a few steps away from the surfer shock but Big Island Mike is able to leave before Frank arrives I'm sorry but there is no way Big Island Mike can move that much faster than Frank this puzzle you got two of the flavors right he doesn't tell you which ones are right just to make the puzzle harder that face.
Big Island Mike can't be bothered to walk ten feet to get his own shave ice not to call me again unless and until you have found out what mapa went up to Richard Aikens is a jerk you're forced to remember the coordinates for kapu caves because they're not in Nancy's journal and you can't check inventory items on the map screen no the microscope lens is broken the rest of the microscope is in perfect condition I guess dr. Craven handled it delicately during his wild temper tantrum why call this place Kapoor cave if the cave entrance is sealed and nobody can get inside oh yeah this is real useful to. The game insults you for buying things that heal means business so much for following that current chart not with that yield while talking this.
Llll only exists to prevent Trank from accessing the endgame challenge too early I just wondered if you knew what the deal is with all those webs atcop okay they were made by north of Adel RV must have something to do with their food supply quickly forgets this information later on when she wonders why the norsu beta odorata population has exploded the north of 800 dorado population has exploded but the only place they make webs is that kapoor cave famous nancy and with any luck Rich's hack way to go how do you get rich by finding a lot of bugs quickly knows Nancy isn't getting paid for this job but she still brags about making money right in front of Nancy Quigley is a jerk the kind of moth at all those more Zubaydah caterpillars have been eating a real entomologist wouldn't confuse moths and caterpillars analyze the contents of those frost jars the notes on my clipboard will tell you how to go about it there is a part two to the frass puzzle need to get a sample of whatever it is that Malachi Craven is secretly growing up there at the Gila healy even if it means sneaking in Nancy's boss orders her to break the law all right yes I stole a security pass yes I snuck into Haley Healy a couple of times to dig through Cravens files and yes a rival company paid me to do all that Quigley orders Nancy to break into Healy Healy even though she's already broken in multiple times why doesn't quickly do it herself you heard about Connie o kala maybe he's the one who trashed her camp oh please Quigley insults the premise of the game conveniently dr. Craven falls asleep right when Nancy needs to break into the Gila Healy dr. Craven keeps incriminating evidence where anyone can get hit this should keep those million yellow off my back Nancy says this even if she hasn't met the men in yellow the plant was extracted on April 6 but Big Island Mike's calendar and note are set for early March dr. Craven is growing dozens of plants here but Nancy only tests one of them the security system warns intruders when they've been discovered that is not very secure the employees instantly recognize Nancy as the intruder even though she's wearing a suit that's indistinguishable from everyone else's there is no Waverly on. The employee roster there are only about five employees working right now but over a dozen of them are listed as actively working went out to her camp to confront her only she wasn't there which made me even more furious so then I just lost it according to the opening cutscene dr. Craven threw a fit before checking to see if Quigley was there I've been told I have a slight anger management problem dr. Craven has a slight anger management problem that's like saying this game is slightly bad I discovered the only thing on it was a bunch of garbage about moth larvae.
Wait a minute how did you know that torn page was in the pocket of my lab coat I I have really good eyes dr. Craven believes this where did Nancy get the labels for these test tubes there are none on the table Quigley spends half the game hiding in a tree to save on animation you're on your. Own Quigley think she was carrying Nancy more like the other way around there's a metal ring inside my pack Nancy has given a metal nose ring for solving the awful frass challenge this makes no sense the bottom of the nose is solid rock how did Nancy get a ring through it this puzzle I find it inconsistent that Nancy has to find the animals in no particular order while Frank has to find the animals in a specific order Nancy discovers a hidden passageway cliche it's Nancy hey remember that creepy face that had been carved into a wall the one with all the pictures on his teeth well thanks to that list of you gave me the face opened up and I'm about to explore whatever's behind it I don't know if or how this helps you but I just thought I'd let you know anyway I'm going in so wish me luck Frank it's Nancy hey remember that creepy face that have been carved into a wall we hear this message twice in a row he's trying to go that way once Nancy enters Kabu cave the exit closes behind her why Nancy doesn't care that she's trapped inside here who created the complicated network of tunnels and puzzles that make up kapu cave why did they set up so many puzzles in real life Nancy would probably pass out from being this close to lava in an enclosed space supposedly says how to do that but I've never been able to figure it out the solution to this puzzle is follow the animal pictures in the order they appear on the map how was Poole unable to figure out the solution on her own the beetle larvae which are practically microscopic those don't look microscopic to me what are you doing here mike is clearly walking on stone but it sounds like he's walking on the beach Nancy and Frank have to solve numerous puzzles to reach the chamber but Big Island Mike gets to sneak in through a side entrance what is all this two crates counts as all this the entire plot of the game is explained in the last five minutes how did you get in here I didn't notice her dad until just now Poole walks across the entire room in under three seconds No we're in too deep we've got to go through with it now wait a minute you're in this whatever it is together Frank's painfully stupid question you figure out that chart and then yes I followed you Frank didn't notice puha swimming after him this dry bag is great I can keep my clothes with me while I'm snorkelling conveniently for the animation Department puah and Frank have a way to change out of their wetsuits and back into their normal clothes just in time for a cutscene if Poole followed Frank through the currents that means she was in the tunnel when Frank out of his wetsuit poo and Frank both have dry hair despite going through the ocean less than five minutes ago Big Island Mike's ponytail why can't pull pay off the debt with her surfing sponsorship why can't the mortgage Mike's business why is this the only way for them to get money it's over poor I'm dumping those things right now Big Island Mike is right he could easily push the canisters into the lava here that would destroy all the evidence and they'd get away with everything my father was a lot of money to some really bad people Big Island Mike is in debt to loan sharks we could have heard more about this but instead we get a lecture on beetle pheromones the culprits plot boils down to spray bug pheromones in the jungle so more beetles will mate that's so ridiculous I feel stupid just singing it this random statue triggers.
An earthquake it's not explained how or why Nancy appears to be unaffected by this earthquake but the last earthquake could be felt miles away at Big Island Mike's by coincidence the statue triggers an earthquake right when Big Island Mike is complaining about the last earthquake see how far apart kapu cave and Big Island Mike's are either Nancy walked a long distance on foot are the currents took Frank far underneath the island Frank is standing in front of the crates here and now as far away from them nice to get back on solid ground no any ideas Frank can't figure out how to jump on his own when Big Island Mike say absolutely nothing during the scene why can't Frank turn around and take the exit that's directly behind him I know poo is in the way and she'd probably try to stop him but I would still go for it similarly why can't Big Island Mike turn around and take the exit that's right behind him the layout of the rocks here doesn't match the layout of the rocks here this puzzle rocks disappear and reappear whenever someone jumps on them rocks don't work like that in real life where did the rocks go when they lower out of sight they can't sink into the ground because the floor is lava Big Island Mike and Frank politely take turns and wait for each other before jumping in real life they would both be scrambling for the exits Nanta Frank thanks Nancy when he did all the work who and her dad are totally fine with leaving Frank and Nancy behind pour in Big Island Mike are jerks everyone in this game is a jerk Frank made it to the exit good for him but how does Nancy get to the exit from where she is when Frank reaches his exit this seals off the door to the other exit for reasons that aren't explained took a while for the authorities to figure out exactly what to charge them with because their plan was more stupid than illegal land that he the Healy research facility was on used to belong to his act used to work for a pineapple grower vital information for solving the mystery is purposely withheld from players so they can't guess the mystery solution on their own Mike hire Johnny Kudo to steal canisters of pheromones for him there just happened to be multiple canisters of beetle pheromones nearby for Johnny Kudo to steal there's a picture of the Hardee's at the Healey Healey even though they never went there why does Joe always stand a certain distance behind Frank dr. Craven totally gets away with destroying Quigley's camp Quigley totally gets away with spying on dr. Craven and breaking into the Healey Healey for that matter Nancy gets away with breaking into the Healey Healey she's the hero so it doesn't matter if she breaks the law and the rest of my time on the big island well let's just say when it comes to cleaning frost jars I am an expert gross.
Frost press press press press frappe the phrase my days of analyzing Fras are over